Hey friend,

And No, It’s Not “Just Get Over It”

Let’s be real. When a wave of anxiety, a pang of jealousy, or a heavy blanket of sadness shows up, our first instinct is rarely to welcome it with open arms. Our internal playlist is more like: Distract! Avoid! Numb! Get rid of this feeling, NOW!

We scroll mindlessly, binge-watch TV, overwork, or tell ourselves to “just think positive.” We do anything we can to escape the discomfort.

But here’s the life-changing secret no one tells you: The way out of a painful emotion is through it.

The secret to sitting with uncomfortable emotions isn’t a complex spiritual practice reserved for monks. It’s a practical, learnable skill. And it all starts with one simple, radical shift: from resistance to curiosity.

Why Our “Fix-It” Mindset Backfires

Think of your emotions like a beach ball. The harder you try to push them underwater and out of sight, the more tension it creates. The moment you slip up, that ball is going to explode to the surface with way more force than it started with.

When we resist an emotion, we’re essentially sending a signal to our brain that says, “This is dangerous! Panic!” This amps up our nervous system, making the emotion feel even bigger and more threatening. We get stuck in a cycle of feeling bad about feeling bad.

Sitting with an emotion, on the other hand, is like gently taking that beach ball and letting it float beside you. You acknowledge it’s there, but it’s no longer controlling you.

The “How-To”: Your Gentle Guide to Emotional Hospitality

So, how do you actually do this? It’s not about passively suffering. It’s about becoming an active, compassionate observer. Try these steps the next time a tough feeling arises.

Step 1: Push Pause and Name It

When you feel that familiar knot in your stomach or tightness in your chest, just stop for a moment. Take one gentle breath. Then, silently name the emotion.

• “This is anxiety.”
• “Hello, anger.”
• “This feels like sadness.”

This is called affect labeling, and it’s like magic for your brain. By naming the emotion, you move from being the emotion (“I am angry”) to observing the emotion (“I am noticing anger”). This creates a tiny bit of space, which is where your power lies.

Step 2: Get Curious (Without Judgment)

Now, bring a sense of gentle curiosity to the feeling, as if you’re a scientist studying a fascinating new phenomenon. Ask yourself:

• “Where do I feel this in my body?”
• “What are the physical sensations? (e.g., heat, tightness, tingling, heaviness)”
• “If this emotion had a shape, color, or size, what would it be?”

The goal here is not to change it, but to understand it. You’re not asking, “Why do I feel this way?” which can lead to a spiral of stories, but “How does this feeling feel?”

Step 3: Breathe Into the Sensation

Once you’ve located the sensation in your body (e.g., a tight chest), imagine your breath flowing into and around that space. You don’t need to force the sensation away. Just breathe with it. On each inhale, imagine creating a little more space. On each exhale, imagine softening around the edges of the discomfort.

This teaches your nervous system that you are safe even while this sensation is present.

Step 4: Offer Yourself Compassion

Place a hand on the part of your body where you feel the sensation—your heart, your stomach, your forehead. This simple touch releases oxytocin, the comfort hormone. Say to yourself, kindly:

• “It’s okay to feel this.”
• “This is a moment of suffering, and it will pass.”
• “I am safe, and I can handle this.”

You are offering yourself the same comfort you would offer a crying child.

Step 5: Let It Be, Let It Move

Emotions are energy in motion (E-motion). They want to flow. By giving them space and attention, you allow them to complete their cycle. They might not vanish instantly, but they will almost always shift, lessen, or transform. Trust that the feeling will pass when it’s ready. Your job is not to rush it, but to host it.

What You’re Really Doing

When you practice this, you are not being passive. You are actively rewiring your brain. You are teaching yourself the most profound lesson: You are not your emotions. You are the aware, compassionate space that holds them. And that space is unshakable.

This is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. You won’t get it “right” every time. Some days, the emotion will feel too big. That’s okay. The attempt itself is a victory.

Remember, the goal isn’t to never feel uncomfortable again. The goal is to stop being so afraid of your own inner world.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This sounds great, but my emotions feel too overwhelming to handle alone,” please know that you don’t have to. Learning to navigate your inner landscape is exactly what therapy is for.

Visit Soul Space for counseling services. Online consultation also available. Our therapists provide a safe, supportive space to explore these feelings and build your emotional resilience.

Ready to make peace with your feelings? Book your appointment today at +91-9961710494.